How How to Win Friends and Influence People Influenced Me
Over the summer I read a book by the name of How to Win Friends and Influence People. The very popular book centers around Dale Carnegie's views on diplomacy and how to handle interpersonal relations. Growing up as a homeschooler I’ve come to develop a feeling of self induced lack of awareness. What I mean by this is that I always feel like I am missing something, or dont have a grip on a situation due to not having a typical social development. Due to this feeling, I’ve spent frankly too much time analysing and reflecting on social situations.
This brings us to the start of the 2018 summer. Working 45 hours a week as a part time employee at my local Taco Bell, I was pushed into social situations that continuously brought to my mind all the different aspects that I mulled over in my past. Difficult co-workers, inconsiderate scheduling, and all around the struggles of customer service brought many challenges to what I saw as my socially awkward self. These situations tied with the elusive paperback sitting on my families shelf influenced me to give the book a try.
Instantly the book introduced me to the key principle of the three “C’s”. Do not Criticize, Condemn, or Complain, this simple maxim helped me tremendously. Growing up as largely an observer I tended towards pessimism when it came to myself and others. This pessimism was something I was aware of, but the maxim tied with the strategies in the book to help accomplish it; gave me the push I needed to start conquering my habitual negativity. From there the book continued to introduce and answer many questions that in the past had plagued my social mind. Nothing affected me to the same level as the three “C’s”, but reading the book put me in a very specific headspace that helped me see myself and others in a different view.
One of the most important understandings that the book help influence is the idea of multifaceted humans. Once again this idea was something I was already aware of, but the book’s suggestions while not specifically on the topic; provided a gateway into exploring and viewing other people as highly complex examples of development and cognition. This understanding brought by the book’s lessons helped nurture a more understanding and interested side of myself. I was more willing to look into the more intricate aspects of other people as well as be more open with others about myself.
Overall, How to Win Friends and Influence People placed me in a state of mind that was very helpful in answering my own questions as well as developing positive social habits. More so than the specific lessons the book tries to teach, I was able to use the overall theme of the book to improve my social awareness and conquer unfounded fears. The different perspective provided by the book allowed me to view the people and world around me in a much different light than ever before. I never expected the book to have as drastic of an effect, but I certainly glad it did. I would highly recommend How to Win Friends and Influence People to anyone looking for a perspective change because that’s certainly how it influenced me.